i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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