I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
