I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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