Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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