If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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