Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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