Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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