God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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