I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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