i don't like sucking hair
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
