I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
