everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
