You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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