Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize