when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
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They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize