Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it hurts more in the daytime
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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