If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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