I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
