So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
