New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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