rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.