Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.