Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.