Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize