Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
