His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize