how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
