I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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