It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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