Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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