Why are handjobs necessary in class?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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