i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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