Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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