so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just tell him i said nine months
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.