so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.