u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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