Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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