WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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