People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
