Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
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Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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