I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
