You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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