tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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