Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want a musical about memes.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
