yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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