I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i wish my penis had a tongue
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
