At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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