i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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