and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
