Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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