yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.