Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick