Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
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She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Someone came in the potted fern
whose parrot is this?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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