It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
