North Korea, Best Korea!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
