anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
