I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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