I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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