Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
